Some days just don’t go as planned. We had a rough start this morning. We headed out for the first day of Preschool Corner at the library. It is a kind of specialized story time with focus on the alphabet and other preschool skills. Micah had been asking all morning if it was time to go. We got there and he was eager for it to start, but when it was time to go in and take our place…he froze and then he cried and wailed with panic. Fortunately, a church family was there and took Miss Heidi while I sat outside the room with Micah and discussed why we were there. Let’s just say it took quite a bit of convincing to get him to finally go in. Once in there, he really enjoyed it. He used to have this little thing he did with his hands when he was nervous (I mean it has been almost two years since I have seen him do it) and he did that the whole time we were there UNTIL the music time started. Then he settled in and had a great time.
It was weird to see him like that. I know he has some stranger anxiety, but it always catches me completely off guard because he is eager to just chat with people he doesn’t know on other occasions. I am always at a loss at how to handle these moments. Sometimes it is like he is throwing a fit and other times I can see he is actually very worried or scared and panicked.

The more I think about it, the more I begin to think there is something to learn about this moment in the library.  Don’t you think God looks at us sometimes and thinks, “What in the world, child?  What is up with you?  You asked for this…you wanted this and now you are all panicked when it is here before you?  Don’t you know I am going to be with you the whole time?  I’m not leaving and I know you are going to appreciate this experience if you will just let Me show you?”

Just my thoughts for the day…

Some days I feel like I am constantly going and going. Either the house needs so much done (that I have neglected) or there are errands and events to tend to. This week has started off in high speed and I am a little overwhelmed. We are dealing with all the fine details of buying a home, issues from our previous home (long story), and everyday life mixed in, too. I am realizing more everyday that in order for me to keep my wits about me and function like I should I must focus on scripture to remind me of my purpose and focus. So, today I thought I would share a few that I am pondering (or will be from this point on).

Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

Proverbs 29:17
Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.
***just found this one and threw it in after a few frustrating moments this morning***

Psalm 62:5
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.

Mark 10:45
For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Just a few I thought about…

We are in Estes Park, Colorado for the week.  Jonathan is attending the GMA’s Music in the Rockies Conference.  I am enjoying the surroundings.  The weather is so refreshing compared to the 107 and 108 degrees we left in Texas.  Being up in the mountains, you have to make a few adjustments.  Fortunately, our year living in Longmont (CO) taught us that.  You must realize the air is “thinner” here.  It is easier to get out of breath.  You also dry out rather easily, so hydration is a good thing.

Anyway, I never cease to be amazed by the beauty of this place.  When we moved to Colorado, I wondered if its residents ever stopped noticing the mountains and admiring them.  In our time here, I never did.  When riding in the car, I would stare at them endlessly.  I really loved watching it snow there while it was perfectly clear where we were.  I loved waking in the morning to see new snow on their peaks.  We had a beautiful mountain and lake view from our apartment and I could sit on the couch and stare for a long time.

In this beauty, I know God is so creative!  Think of all the things this planet has that we take for granted.  There is beauty all around that we sometimes tend to ignore.   Maybe it is time we acknowledge God’s desire for us to appreciate His creation and His people.

Today I am pondering… I wonder, does God get really tired of His children behaving badly when He is trying to teach those who aren’t His children the way? Does that make sense? I can imagine God taking His children out for an outing of some sort and inviting other children along. In His mind, He wants those other children to see His love and joy through His own children, and is so disappointed and embarrassed by their behavior. How are the other children going to desire His ways when His own children disregard Him and disobey so frequently and habitually. Not only do they disobey, they harm each other maliciously and forget the love He placed in their hearts.

I imagine He would become discouraged and frustrated. He knows His children’s potential and yet they fail Him over and over. Amazingly, His love never wavers. It never stops. It grows with each day and He longs for His children to just honor and obey Him, so He can shower them with all He has in store for their lives.

Why do we harm one another? Why do we break God’s heart over and over? What message do we send to those who need Him so much? Do they get to see His love through us?

Unfortunately, they often turn away from God because what they see His children doing is no different than their own life. We are all sinners, but we are to be transformed! (Romans 12:2) Our desire should be to build one another up, CARRY THEM, EVEN! By this will they know us!

My heart aches as I see God’s children hurting one another. The body cannot function properly if one of it’s parts is trying to harm the other. It becomes ineffective and useless. We can’t possibly be the light when someone keeps trying to grab the candle. Lord, help us to turn to You and get rid of self. Otherwise, we are useless to You, and shame on us for it.

I have been pondering a lot lately about the role of a wife and mother. My thoughts have been influenced by readings I have had lately and prayer. Have you considered the change that has happened in society that “expects” a woman to work outside the home? I know that staying home is accepted, but it doesn’t seem to be the norm or priority in most households today. Why? I am not really sure and I am having a hard time with this.

Jonathan and I chose this for our family because I wanted to be there with my children each day and to provide a haven for our family. I feel like this is God’s desire for our family. Many would say that it must be nice, but it would never work for them. What wouldn’t work? People talk about income a lot when reasoning why the wife is working outside the home. While I understand it is difficult to have everything with one income, should we have it all? We have learned to sacrifice certain things and yet we still have so much and can enjoy treats and vacations. We just have to live frugally and within our means.

I’m sure I will be writing about this more in the future, but for now… I am still pondering I guess. What does the Bible have to say about all this? I have a general idea, but I am afraid it isn’t very politically correct. I think I am about to open a can of worms soon…and I am pretty sure once they are out, I can’t cram them back in.

This poor little site has been neglected badly in the past few transition months for us. We have been traveling every weekend since the beginning of December. It will soon be settling back down (Thank you, God) as we are moving this weekend. For those who might not know yet, we are moving to Greenville, Texas. It is such an exciting, but stressful time for our little family. Micah has struggled with the separation from Daddy these past few days. We know all of the stress and packing will soon be over and we look forward to settling into normalcy again.

Please continue to pray that our house sells! We would love to have that burden lifted soon. It would sure make things easier. We know we aren’t promised easy, but it is okay to ask!

Jonathan and I have a little boy we love very much. He is someone we prayed about and planned for. We decided together that we needed to care and love for this boy. You may think I am talking about our precious son, Micah. We love him very much and we prayed and planned for him, but he isn’t the one to which I speak. No, this little boy’s name is Calvin. He lives in Indonesia with his grandmother and we sponsor him through Compassion International. He has been our little boy for almost two years. He is young and still learning to read and write, so his grandmother sends us a letter every once in a while to let us know how Calvin has been doing. He loves going to church and school and he likes helping his grandmother with little chores around the house.

He is a special little boy. There are lots of boys and girls just like him struggling to get by.

Have you considered how blessed you are? We have so much! On any given day, we spend $30 at a restaurant, extra snacks at the grocery store, or even an extra article of clothing we can certainly do without. Maybe you buy another DVD, video game, or decor for the home. There is nothing wrong with those purchases, but what if you could provide healthy meals, education, and Christian mentoring for a child in need. Would you give up one of those extra purchases each month?

I can tell you from personal experience that it is easy. Even with Jonathan being without a job these past couple of months, we have been able to make our Compassion contribution. God has blessed us and provided for us. We feel that this love we share for Calvin is something we want to teach to Micah. We want him to learn to care for others. We want him to understand the needs of others around the world. We may not be missionaries, but we have a mission to do in our daily lives. We should care for the people around us whether they are in our family, our town, our country, or our world. We should find a way to share Jesus and his love.

As Christians, we must share His love in as many ways as we can. For this Valentine’s day, find a way to share His love with others. Take a treat to a widow or person living alone, donate time at a shelter for women and children…or maybe you would be able to support at child through Compassion. Find something to do and show God’s love everyday.

If you are reading this, would you stop and pray for our buddy, Alan Devine. His parents are friends from college. His mom, Amy, has a blog I enjoy reading. Alan was born a month or so after Micah. He was in need of a liver transplant and around the beginning of the year, he got his new liver. He has been recovering in the hospital and during that time got an infection. This is major for someone receiving a new organ. He went into septic shock and is having to have several major IV’s to help his body adjust. He was also placed on a ventilator and I am not sure if he is off of that yet or not. Please pray for this little guy and for his sweet family. They also has another son who is staying with grandparents. Pray for his peace of mind and that the struggle of missing mommy and daddy will be softened during this time.

Also, please remember us in prayer during this weekend. We are going to Texas to interview for a church position. Pray that God gives us a peace regardless of the outcome. As most of you know, we are jobless and are praying that God would guide us carefully to His will. We want to be certain we are following His plan for us regardless of our circumstances. Pray for safe travel and include Micah in those prayers. That poor guy is going to get all thrown off schedule wise. If you have/have had a little one, you know what I mean.

I must say that my obsession with traditions is rooted in needing predictable events in my childhood. Things weren’t always routine in life and I think my affection for traditions helped make things a little easier.

One tradition I had every year was to set up the nativity with my granny each year. My brothers sometimes helped, but they weren’t as interested in it. My granny made and painted them in a ceramics class before I can remember. We has a nice cardboard creche and a Gideon Bible to complete the scene. When I was young, Granny would hand me the Bible while she unwrapped the pieces. After that, we would read the Christmas story together as I set up the nativity just right. I always wanted the shepherds, wisemen, and animals in their proper place. It was a fun time for me and I always admired our “work” during the whole season. I remember on a few occasions that I would sneak in there and play with them like dolls acting out the story. As I grew up and headed off to college, I would come home and see that it wasn’t out. I would ask Granny why and she would say no one even noticed. Then, we would get it out together. I secretly think she was waiting on me. Then, my grandad died on Christmas morning and the holiday got harder to celebrate for Granny. As I married and moved away, I would notice the nativity (and sometimes the tree for that matter) didn’t come out. If I was home early for the holidays, I would talk her into getting them out. Our roles reversed a little with me reading the story while she unwrapped and put everything out. I cherished that time together.

She was the reason I was in church all throughout my teenage years. She made sure to drive across town to get me and drive me back. She would make sure there was money for lock-ins and conferences and activities to keep me involved. My parents wanted me going to church, but Granny made sure it happened.

At some point, Granny began to get sick and wasn’t really our family center anymore. I always felt a little lost without her planning and all the regular things that happened when she was well. She continued to worsen and rarely recognized family or friends. So when my daddy said I could take the nativity home with me after Christmas one year, I was filled with mixed emotions. I wanted it for it’s meaning and for the tradition it held, but it was sad to see that tradition with Granny fade.

My Granny is gone now and I now set up the nativity in my home. As Micah gets older, I look forward to starting over the tradition that meant so much to me. Something so simple meant the world. Now, it is time to start traditions for my little family that will become treasured and special. More on some of my ideas and thoughts later.

DID CHRIST NOT CALL US TO CHALLENGE ONE ANOTHER AND FOLLOW HIS EXAMPLE? ARE WE NOT HERE FOR HIS GLORY, TO WORSHIP HIM ONLY AND TO MAKE ALL WE DO BE FOR HIM, ABOUT HIM, AND TO HIM?? I know I am in ranting mode. Somehow the peace I had about current events has been disturbed. Are not ministers called to challenge the congregation to live Christ-centered rather than self-centered lives. What was the first sentence of The Purpose-Driven Life? Okay, that is enough for now….just need to vent for a moment. Say a prayer for me right now, if you will. Pray that I am self-controlled and that my focus is completely on HIM.